Close relationships are going to occasionally involve pain, and very close relationships are likely to occasionally involve a LOT of pain. Naturally, we want to do everything we can to avoid pain, but the reality is that pain isn’t what destroys relationships. Depending on how we respond to pain, it can either lead to confusion (the actual relationship killer), or it can lead to learning, growth, and deeper trust.

In this second episode of a 2-part series, I dive into an exploration of healthy ways to navigate through pain wholeheartedly. That means ensuring our words, actions, and feelings are all lining up even when it hurts. I share some of my own personal, painful experiences and some of the practical steps I implement that help me turn painful situations into personal growth, and deeper relationships with the most important people in my life.

Close relationships are going to occasionally involve pain, and very close relationships are likely to occasionally involve a LOT of pain. Naturally, we want to do everything we can to avoid pain, but the reality is that pain isn’t what destroys relationships. Depending on how we respond to pain, it can either lead to confusion (the actual relationship killer) or it can lead to learning, growth, and deeper trust.

In this first episode of a 2-part series, I dive into an exploration of healthy ways to navigate through pain wholeheartedly. That means ensuring our words, actions, and feelings are all lining up, even when it hurts. I share some of my own personal, painful experiences and some of the practical steps that I implement that help me turn painful situations into personal growth, and deeper relationships with the most important people in my life.

Shame, the feeling of inadequacy or being unworthy of love, is one of the most soul-destroying emotional experiences a human being can have.

It wreaks havoc on close relationships. Every one of us will wrestle with shame at some point in our lives. Many, if not most of us, wrestle with it on a daily basis. In the modern age of extraordinary communication technology, most of us live immersed in a shame-driven online culture where every possible human flaw is put under the magnifying glass for the world to critique. It can be terrifying and paralysing.

In this second episode of a 2-part series on ‘shame’, I draw on some very helpful wisdom from Cora regarding recognising ‘shaming’ practices that we use without realising it. We take a close look at why shaming is often a go-to behaviour, even with people we care for deeply [such as our own children] and what we can do practically to put the shaming tools down and pick up much healthier tools for communicating effectively with the closest people in our lives, especially when they are doing things that drive us nuts.

Shame, the feeling of inadequacy, or being unworthy of love, is one of the most soul destroying, emotional experiences a human being can have. It wreaks havoc on close relationships. Every one of us will wrestle with shame at some point of our lives. Many, if not most of us, wrestle with it on a daily basis. In the modern age of extraordinary communication technology, most of us live immersed in a shame-driven online culture where every possible human flaw is put under the magnifying glass for the world to critique. It can be terrifying, and paralysing.

In this first episode of a 2-part series on ‘shame’, I draw on some very helpful wisdom from Cora regarding recognising ‘shaming’ practices that we use without realising it. We take a close look at why shaming is often a go-to behaviour, even with people we care for deeply [such as our own children] and what we can do practically to put the shaming tools down and pick up much healthier tools for communicating effectively with the closest people in our lives, especially when they are doing things that drive us nuts.

Going through painful, disappointing experiences can eat away at the hope we have for the future. This is especially true when we feel that we’re experiencing the same painful things on repeat! How can we move forward when we keep doing the same dumb things over and over? The answer, of course, is in our ability to learn, grow, and change… which can be really hard.

In this episode, we look at three guiding principles for healthy, non-judgmental conversations about problems. When Cora and I meet every week, we want to be focused on working together to tackle the issues in front of us rather than blaming and criticising each other. Believe me, it’s not always easy! These principles help us turn failures and frustrations into positive growth.

Our culture is utterly obsessed with labels. Why? And more importantly, is it actually helpful in any way? I think most of us tend to find labels helpful and stabilising when describing the negative behaviour of someone who has caused us pain or frustration. Especially if we can find others who agree with us. It brings order into our chaotic state. But what about when trust is the goal? What about when deepening your connection with the person in front of you is more important than soothing your own personal need to feel in control of the situation? Are those negative labels helpful, then?

In this episode, I share openly about my own thoughts regarding labelling behaviour, when I’ve noticed it to be helpful and when I’ve noticed it to be damaging, even catastrophic, to a relationship. This conversation springs mostly from our Personal Responsibility course module and, in particular, the necessity of retaining a judgement-free heart, which is incredibly challenging and absolutely necessary for a healthy relationship with anyone, anywhere, ever.

We all wrestle with fears about what people think of us. We’re built for connection, and it’s natural to want to be embraced, celebrated, and viewed positively, especially by the people we care about most. So what do we do when that’s not the case? What do we do when others see us through a lens of negativity, even when we believe what we’re doing is motivated by genuine love? Or worse, what about when we’re judging someone else for judging us! 

We all wrestle with fears about what people think of us. We’re built for connection, and it’s natural to want to be embraced, celebrated, and viewed positively, especially by the people we care about most. So what do we do when that’s not the case? What do we do when others see us through a lens of negativity, even when we believe what we’re doing is motivated by genuine love? Or worse, what about when we’re judging someone else for judging us!